Late-Night Personalities Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Program

TV's prominent entertainers spent their broadcast ridiculing former President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear pay-for-access scheme for the affluent.

Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas tune directed at the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... destroys all he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial plan that allows foreign individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of $1 million dollars, or "premium" version for $5 million. The program's website promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One message for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire foreign workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The best screening the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit wealthy foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval numbers during financial concerns. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of food items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.